Are you speaking to or about your mountain? A fallen hiking hero's tip that forever lives on
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| A vividly human spot (be on the lookout for it while on the Rurimeria trail), as if checking "are you speaking to or about me''😀 |
This has been a tough post to write, and it's taken long to gather my thoughts. You see, Paul Muchene, who was my close hiking friend, passed away two weeks ago, on 6th August 2022, from a tragic fall off a cliff while hiking Mt. Kilimanjaro. This time, he was using the most difficult route on Africa's highest mountain, the Arrow Glacier route, just metres away from the summit. To add salt to the injury, he had already climbed the same mountain twice before (albeit using other 'easier' routes) and he passed away just three days shy of his 42nd birthday...I guess he'd hoped to mark his birthday in a unique way. While he met his death while on a solo hiking mission with his own guide and porter support team (rather than hiking with any specific hiking group), the hiking community came together to condole with his family. One of the hiking families we both belonged to, Let's Drift, was very well represented, and our leader made a glowing and personal tribute - read more here. Paul was not only a trail-blazing and inspiring hiker but also a brilliant and ever-rising computer scientist just living life the best way possible. He was very humane and made genuine connections beyond his immediate circles - I forever treasure the way he took the time to get to know and mentor my younger brother, who is an upcoming computer scientist .. when I introduced them, Paul took the initiative to regularly reach out and connect with my brother, and he would regularly say hello, check up on his progress and provide savvy tips..to the point when we all met, it was best to give them space and time as they would talk extensively - Paul was generous with his time and wisdom. Paul also was an encourager - he inspired me to try out high-altitude hikes, and even when I started the blogging journey he'd read through, share tips and ideas on what I could consider writing on, and offer the much-needed feedback to help grow me...and he was regularly checking in to find out where i would be hiking to next - the last time we met was just last month while on a hike together at Mt.Kinangop - I didn't know that was the last time we were to meet. It has been an even bitter pill to swallow as hikes are meant to balance out our busy work lives, not take lives away...I didn't know how to go back to the trails with peace of mind after it took away such a wonderful soul from us...but the funeral proceedings yesterday (Friday 19th August) as well as meeting with fellow hikers to bid him farewell, provided the much-needed processing of raw emotions, and it has started the healing journey.
When scrolling my phone to check on his many encouraging text messages, one of my favourite memories of Paul and that exemplifies his warm and persistent persona is when he challenged me to try out the rough Rurimeria hill in the Aberdares ranges...he asked me 'will you speak to or about your mountain'? I found this (cautionary) advice playing out so vividly when hiking Rurimeria, and I believe it made the difference whether or not I summitted, especially as my physical strength had weathered out at only the first false summit – for a few moments I had thought of giving up – oh how much I would have missed out. Borrowing a lot from Paul who helped me to try it out, may his legacy live on through you too, whether it is trying out hiking (again) or gaining a new perspective in other life areas. May you be encouraged and uplifted to push through (or get back if you had paused) as the best is coming if you keep at it.
At the time, Paul mentioned he loved rurimeria the most out of all the Aberdares ranges – here is how the rest of our conversation on this played out:
Paul: Rurimeria
is steep with 3 false summits before the actual real summit. But lately I love
Rurimeria even more than Elephant hill
Mary: Why,
given it’s that tough?
Paul: She
became kind to me. She helped me and I’m eternally grateful
Mary: Wow,
in which way if I may ask?
Paul: Talk to her tomorrow to assist you to summit
Two things I picked up from our conversation
1. Have you noticed the ‘she’ and ‘her’ when describing the mountain?! I found this unique coming from a seasoned male hiker…I was curious also on why ascribing gender to a gender-neutral mountain/hill, and their response blew my mind…basically Paul had come to view high-altitude hills and mountains as feminine due to their nurturing attributes – I can better understand why ... in such terrains, you’ll often find green lush vegetation, small streams, even rivers etc…(contrast this with the dryness of the desert environments and you’ll appreciate the value of the imagery) - this mental shift of moving beyond seeing a mountain as an “ it” to a s(he), however you may like it – has been a game-changer – you’ll find most tough terrains require more of a positive mindset and less of physical fitness prowess
2. Also speaking to the mountain (yes,we can do this etc) rather than speaking about it (eg how tough it is etc) is the practical application of when the going gets tough the tough gets going
-tied to the above, 'speak to the mountains' song by Chris McClarney fits in quite well if you'd need a reminder in form of a gospel song ... and oh yes, I see God a lot when in his nature..and it is a humbling experience.
The other practical support is got is from helpful guides, to the point where one stayed with me when I let go of trying to keep up with the rest of the team who graciously tried waiting for me..but this ‘trying to catch up’ was disaster in waiting (also learnt from another recent Mt.Kenya hiker who was attempting and succeeded summiting rurimeria for the second time – the first time she fainted at the first false summit – due to playing catch up and dehydration) – see below five tips that I recently came across that summarise all the wisdom and nuggets so well, courtesy of Safaritreks Adventures ... and hopefully it may encourage you to get out there again...either literally in the mountains or figuratively in your daily life endeavours that may have taken a pause
Great piece. Very informative and a wholesome way to bid farewell to our friend. Keep on the great work. May we learn to live life to the fullest and cherish every moment with family and friends.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the kind words and indeed - let's aim to live a full life as Paul nicely demonstrated to us
ReplyDeleteThis is a very great piece,written from the heart authored by the mind.Thank you for sharing this quite uplifting
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your kind words:) and heartening that it has uplifted you - thanks for your readership
DeleteHello there Mary, Paul's brother here...thanks for the well thought tribute that you've given Paul. I didn't go on as many hikes with him as I would have wanted (and I'm not so much of a hiker/mountaineer), so I'm just now learning from you that he viewed mountains in a similar manner to people - that they have a gender and that you can speak to them. I've known for the longest time that he was an avid hiker and mountain climber, but didn't realize how deeply personal this was for him, that he would go to the extent of viewing them almost as he viewed people. I'm thankful to you and Let's Drift, as both your tributes have been quite profound and insightful. They show a side of Paul not many people would have known, and as mountaineers it shows the kinship you guys had after summitting difficult, high altitude mountains.
ReplyDeleteI would encourage you and Let's Drift to continue your mission of hiking, and let not the tragedy that befell Paul discourage you guys in any way, as he died fulfilling something that was quite important and deeply personal for him, and didn't intend for what happened to discourage or put off anyone from hiking. Soon, when the dust has settled, I'll also go back to hiking, but for starters a simple/less stressful hike...
Hi Isaiah, karibu sana and so lovely reading from you too, and yes, i recall our meeting at Paul's sendoff - thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughtful feedback - super appreciate your encouragement. Yes, your brother is actually the one who first spurred me to try out high-altitude hikes and he helped me see it in such a personal and human way as you've nicely articulated:) He even guided me where to start off (i also was not much of a hiker, let alone a mountaineer haha) but interacting with him transformed me haha - I recall that though it was such a tough and sad day, my first smile when i saw a picture of him and you at Mt.Kipipiri in his eulogy that you read so bravely during his send-off. Welcome (back) to hiking whenever you feel ready, and feel free to reach out if you'd like some company on a simple/less stressful hike, i'll be happy to be a chat buddy/sounding board/listening ear etc..and i have a great feeling most of the Lets Drift team would as well - yes, we are a family who 'get' each other and feel free to reach out at any point - i'm cheering you on, and hopeful the grieving journey goes smoother with time for both you and the entire family - all will be well
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